Skip to main content

Translate This Blog

Contact JCB

Just Call +2348038994417

Nigeria in Focus: 10 Things That Make Me Wonder Why-Anichebe

1. #iWonderWhy you just can't be who you want to be? What if you just want to be a PC bum? Why can't you just be? A writer of a blog. An internet marketer? A eBay guru? But a bum all the same. Write books at home, drinking green tea and meditating — no . No one asking you about the contents of the tea and the chemical components of the leaves. Why can't they just let you be? Be who you want to be. Live how you want to live. Live with passion! Make your life a blockbuster. #iWonderWhy

2. #iWonderWhy Goodluck Jonathan hasn't resigned. Or any of his ministers in spite of all the nonsense crimes they commit daily as published brazenly on the pages of newspapers. Yes I wonder- "Why there hasn't been a revolution yet?" Is this not enough? Is this not enough to make you just pull your hair out, scream and shout and let it all out? #iWonderWhy

As an afterthought, I don't wonder anymore on why there is no Revolution. Nigerians aren't docile. We're just easy-going, every man minding their own business and suffering and smiling in quiet desperation. We would do anything for laughs. To help us deal with the pain. That's why even a just above average comedian is better paid than a great teacher. I guess we all rather be entertained than educated most times. No wonder the late Oputa said what he said....

3. iWonderWhy we're still watching the #OscarPistoriusShow? Sentence the dude already. This mandatory one month psychiatric evaluation is only going to have one outcome — he'll be labelled as having an anxiety disorder for "Black Crime on White People Syndrome", people invent these shit up — you won't believe. Sentenced for manslaughter and have the jail term deferred after few years. Lady Justice has her ways...

Its another O.J Simpson parody. #iWonderWhy Oscar didn't want to startle his girlfriend by gently waking her up and warning her of possible burglars before blasting through a closed door with his gun. But no, she looked too beautiful in her sleep and he didn't want to wake up Sleeping Beauty.

#iWonder if she would rather be startled with the sound of a gun shot 4 times than by a gentle voice?

4. #iWonderwhy I'm even writing this. Its not like anyone will even read it. And even if they do, will they care about to do something? So why I am even bringing it up?

5. #iWonderwhy I don't start doing what I love? Like start a blog and do just that one thing — with clarity, focus and cold-minded single focused execution like a sniper's gun nozzle — and still get by financially like Linda? The only thing stopping most of us is Fear. That's all. Fear. The fear of failing. And so we fail, for lack of trying.

If only we tried perhaps we would have improved our chances of success by 50%. That's the best way to look at it. You're halfway there.

6. #iWonderWhy Justice Oputa would say that "The average Nigerian is incapable of thinking deep." Although I agree with him. Its not a sin to say out loud what you say. Although in Nigeria it sometimes is.

To answer you questions sir on behalf of Labaran Maku, but sir, its these Blackberries and iPhones. They make it hard to focus. One minute you're here, the next minute you're there. Caught in-between opposing thoughts and wants. Pulled from all sides. Its hard to concentrate. So many LED lights are blinking on different devices. Each in a different colour and tune indicating that your attention is needed else where. Tell me sir, how can we focus? When we're bombarded on all sides with texts, advertisements, news, gossip on Facebook, RSS Feeds, unwanted broadcasts and urgent pings? Like you sir, #iWonderWhy

7. #iWonderWhy Patience Jonathan hasn't appointed someone to be her personal coach and public spokesperson e.g. yours sincerely. She would no doubt benefit from such a relationship. As would I. But she doesn't give a hoot. Maybe she wouldn't like good advice. I doubt if she does. It makes her #wonderwhy such a lowly fool will have the audacity to tell her the truth and correct her grammatical error. When she's constantly surrounded by people whose job, lifestyle, house and Rolls Royce depend on telling Madam First Lady repeatedly that she is God-Sent and an Angel? I pray say anybody fit shout Ooº°˚ ˚°ºo! Diariz God Ooº°˚ ˚°ºo.

So when you get a juicy Federal appointment, you leave your ego, pride and intellect and bow to the greatness of money and power. We exchange our inner greatness for artificial greatness. We're all intellectual prostitutes. No different from the same girls begging you to buy them a Blackberry phone in exchange for a one-night stand. Don't judge me because I sin differently from you. Its all the same sin, just different degrees and price. iWonder if you confessed to a priest that you embezzled N80billion during your tenure, if that won't warrant you an automatic seat as the Honourable Chairman of the upcoming bazaar. So sometimes #iWonder

8. Its scary writing the truth in Nigeria. Especially if you don't pay tax. Its like a self-indictment. Like looking for trouble. Its foolish to exercise your freedom of speech to the fullest. You may have your freedom papers withdrawn like Sanusi or you end up in a hole like Ken Saro-Wiwa or in an accident like Azazi. Its better to live in New-York and operate from there where you can see the Statue of Liberty reassuring you of your great freedoms in the USA. This post doesn't guarantee me a visa to the U.S. but if anything the average US citizen knows how to express freely because they are assured of their civil liberty and state protection regardless of whose ox is gored.

But I don't know about this country called Nigeria — Good People, Great Nation. iWonder if Dora Akunyili still believes those words that she spent billions of naira promoting?

9. iWonder Why i should even be writing this. Will I even publish it? Should I? Isn't it a bit too risky? Should I say this? Do I do that? We're constantly asking ourselves the wrong

Questions are like enquries, the mind is like Google- it brings you only answers to requests. So the better your questions, the better your responses. So a question like #iWonderwhy Boko Haram wants? Should be replaced with questions like I wonder what the Northern leaders were smoking when they let their youths go uneducated and unemployed for so long? That's an example of a better question.

10. #iWonder if it is compulsory to sign a name at the end of this post after all said and done? After all the birds that can sing, coo, cackle, peck, hum and mock, the most commonly caged bird is the chicken. The second is the parrot. The chicken for its sweetness and the parrot for its ability to speak, so its freedom is taken away. Reminds me of the Chibok girls. People don't want the masses educated. They don't want the light so they can continue to perpetrate evil under the dark. So I'll just go ahead and be a chicken and not bother signing this.

Yours Sincerely,

Warm Regards,

Ebuka Anichebe J.P
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN