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MEN: 3 Things Nigerian Men Ignore That Ruin Their Lives

Written by Ike Ani

It is usually the way of nature that what a man decides either makes him or mars him in his life endeavours. But the question for many Nigerian men to answer is, “have I made the right decisions for my life yet?” . In Nigeria, it is common for young and old men to just get busy with the money hunt, Job seeking, building house desires and settling down as many would fondly say. But in as much as these goals are not in themselves bad, there lies the beginning/origin of many shattered lives amidst men in Nigeria today. In this article are 3 crucial areas where Nigerian men miss it all and get messed up. Read on.

In life, we all at one point find it easy to flow with the trending culture in our immediate society which is usual or should we say natural for man to do which basic science called for all living things which included man “adaptation”. But there comes a huge deadlock when a man lives daily and then blend with the trending culture without having the necessary knowledge to guide him to his purpose of existence.

Below are the three things mostly missed by Nigerian men in today’s lifestyle and trends which tend to ruin their hard work and resources.

Zero Percentage of Self-Discovery:
Every man born of a woman has a purpose of existence and that’s why some people say that no child born is a mistake but the question here is, have the lack of self-discovery over time made so many men seem as if they were a mistake in our societies today? Well in as much as this question may sound rude, it is the trending fact in the usually ignored lifestyle truth court of today’s Nigeria. 

I hate to use this incidence but have no choice as it is a good example in our Nigerian context. How many of us recall the iconic reggae star in Nigeria called Majek Fashek? Was he not so good and highly valued in the 80s and 90s? But over the years despite his good days, he lost track of who he really is and fell down like a pack of card.  Would you love such to be your case? 

I guess your answer is the huge NO! Then you must take out time to discover who you are by evaluating your potentials, skills, and talents to know what niche you are to function in in life within your society. Increase your self discovery from 0% to 100%. Start today because it is still early never late.

Wrong Investment of Time, Money, skills and Emotions:
I guess the heading of this point is somehow funny but the truth here is that after self-discovery, where you head to, is very important. Many Nigerian men manage to discover themselves but end up ruining it by heading into a deep ditch which makes it seem they don’t know who they really are. Where you invest your time, money and skills matters a lot in terms of what will return to you. You can’t plant carrot and expect a cucumber in return at harvest. In the same vein, you can’t get good result when you keep wasting time and money in things that have no business with your original purpose of existence. 

I intentionally reserved the emotion part till now because it is a natural phenomena that affects every single human on planet earth either positively or negatively. History books over time, has shown how emotions affected great kingdoms and countries through the lives of their kings and leaders. So this is to say that emotion is one thing you can’t over grow because you became a king or a president or the richest man in your location/family. 

So let us face it here Nigerian men! These days  men make mistakes by going into relationship the wrong way as most think of only sex and what they can get in return forgetting the after effect of such acts while some also hurt themselves by dating ladies who do not match with their driving purpose in life. Bro, a woman who doesn’t match your purpose will definitely ruin it.  

The earlier men in this shoes creep out, the better as such makes them waste their love emotion into the wrong bank and when it’s time for withdrawal (support, encouragement, ideas and more) they will have nothing to withdraw from the woman because she’s not a match.

Trending Cultures Affecting Their Dreams:
Earlier, we related to man’s common natural blending ability called “adaptation” but it was never a room for man to change who he was. No matter the adaptation process a lion passes through, he will never become a goat in his environment simply because he still understands who he is and intends to keep it that way. So what’s your own case? The trending cultures in lifestyle may be good but should not in any way change the vision and mission of your goals as well as targets at initial. You may have to change your ways of achieving them but, the driving force should still be maintained at all cost.

In Nigeria currently everyone wants to be busy with what everybody is doing that is making them some money which is good but not applicable and realistic for everyone and can never be simply because Mr. Ahmed ‘s luck according to purpose is not the same with Mr. Ben’s luck in accordance to his own purpose. But this understanding has been ignored by many men today and has led to a lot of mess in their lives, families and the society at large.

Will love to hear your own thoughts on this article in the comment section below……..

Ike blogs at


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