Question from a Man on Facebook:
What is worrying me is that why is it wrong to marry more than one wife in Christianity? Please options are too much these days. God said "Be fruitful and multiply“ that is a command and one needs to obey God's commandment all. He never said thou shalt marry only one wife abi? ehen...
My response: (though sarcastic)
Yes you can marry them, and they can also marry many husbands. Even while they are in your house, they can be sleeping with any man they like - options plenty. #sick
Not many, just 2 wives is good for a start... if she can put up with society for marrying more than one husband then good for her I'm not about to go down the gender equality path this morning biko #ReceiveHealing
(He actually thinks i am hurt, lol, I am just speaking the minds of women, in fact the things they won't also say, I say it)
Are they (women) emotionless things that won't feel cheated, when there are 2 of them to compete for you? If Yes, then marry. If No, then know that even 2 women won't be enough for any man (same way even 10 men wont be enough for a woman) , and no woman no matter her religion or belief is comfortable having a rival. Wetin be gender equality, i no know that one ooo. Best wishes sir. #MyOpinion
But TBVH (To Be Very Honest) Before western civilization came to our lands our Mothers were very okay with co-wives and till that traditionalists still do that not to talk of Muslim men in today's civilization...
You make a big mistake thinking they were okay with it then...they just never spoke up. Many of them had depression and other mental and physical health challenge from the effect of such relationships even for the muslims. Thank God, you escaped that generation, you are here now, so get the Memo and be a man of worth. Women will never finish. Also same way you feel, is the same way an average woman feels about having multiple partners- fine guys plenty too.
His final response:
One just has to be contented with one for life... Choi I should alter my genetic makeup then... #JustKidding
I had to thank him for rethinking and receiving 'healing'! Lol
Just like him, we have all been programmed to think same way:
1. Women are not things you use....they are powerful human beings
2. Women are highly emotional beings
3. No woman wants a RIVAL- None
4. The culture of silence and pain was the difference between the older generation and ours
5. Real men must speak up and question the status quo
6. Women are powerful as helpers, you ignore the woman in your life to your own detriment
7. Religion should not detect more than our natural justice inkling
Truth is, I have experienced first hand the emotional and mental breakdown of women I know and have met, because of their husbands taking another wife or other wives. The first wife never remains the same irrespective of societal acceptance.
Worse is the rampant case of infidelity and having side chicks and women having toy-boys...this has made a mockery of marriages.
Usually we see men intolerable with wives in infidelity but women in Africa mostly are expected to put up with cheating husbands. I can't scratch that though!
This shows a total disregard for human dignity and self worth.
I am not sure this will dissuade men from taking more than one wife (or vice versa) or do I imagine it will change religious laws but I am hoping that a man (or woman) will see the need not to put another human in torture for his selfish interest and since women are also not things, but powerful humans, we all can approach matters like this (whether extra wife or side chick/guy) with dignity. At least, women should learn to speak up on their preference and men should get the permission of their wives before taking another or getting involved outside the home.
Weird thought, someone is thinking.
We can start from there.
I am so excited about this journey!
Men (and women) are receiving help, opening up and families are getting better for it.
I have a lot of testimonials coming in.
Thanks for joining me on this journey by reading this blog!
I await your comment on the conversation I had with that young man.