Four years ago, I was in a ride with a very good friend, after he saw some young girls misbehave along the road, he turned to me and sighed as he said "There would be problem in marriage, with the way these girls are going"
There is a real big problem in marriage. In most cases, we all think that the women are always the victims in troubled marriage. Most of us do not know that in some cases, the men are actually the victims. Some of this women come into a guy's life and transform him into a wreckage.
Some men's mission on earth had been terminated because of the Delilah they live with as wife. They end up with Delilah because they got married for the wrong reasons.
1) Most guys marry beauty instead of character. They forget that beauty is only skin deep. If you fall in love with her beauty, what happens when the beauty's gone? There's an Igbo adage that says "agwa bu mma nwanyi." which translates, good character is the beauty of a woman. A beautiful woman with a bad character is a beautiful destruction.
"I remember in church when the preacher read the scriptures, you looked so beautiful and innocent.
I did not know that behind that beauty lies the true colors that will destroy me in the near future" Lucky Dube - it's not easy.
2) Some guys only want to have fun but end up getting her pregnant, this makes the parent of the girl to force their daughter on him. They become stuck in a horrible union which started up as game and became marriage by mistake.
3) Some guys are gold diggers, the lazy guys who see marriage as an avenue to become rich. They go after rich ladies pretending to love them but all they love is her money. Some of them are lucky to get what they want, some others end up enslaving themselves.
4) Some guys bow to the pressure mounted on them by their desperate partners especially when they are not ready. Am not saying that it's wrong for a lady to remind her partner about walking her down the aisle, am just saying that the guy should not get married because the girl wants them to get married. He should get married because he is ready.
5) Some guy's search scope for a wife is limited by their parents. You would always hear these guys give their long time girl friends funny reasons why they can't get married, "Am sorry, my Mom said I must marry a lady from my place."
He dumps an angel and marries his village trouble.
6) Some guys are married to careers as a wife. I have seen guys say, "I want to marry a nurse, I want to marry a lawyer, I want to marry a chorister....."
Again, am not saying that it's wrong to make those kind of exceptions. I just think that even at that, you should get to know the kind of nurses, lawyers, choristers etc that you are getting married to.
When it comes to marriage, do not let your money woo your wife for you. Money can get you the woman you desire but can't get you love. Believe me, the same wind that blows your money away, would also blow your wife away.
I have seen how the world of some men crumbled because of the kind of women they married. Some were transformed into beasts by their wives. Some find solace in alcohol until they become drunkards; some others delve into drugs and excessive smoking.
As a matter of fact I know of a headmaster who got fired because he was transformed into a chain smoker and a drunkard by his wife. He told me that his world fell apart after he married his wife whom he met in the village where he did his youth service.
While some men come back home everyday to settle dispute between their wives and their neighbours because they are married to street fighters; some others come back home to eat groceries because their wives are not good in cooking. What did some ladies spend their entire lives doing that they didn't learn how to cook?
Just as there is no perfect man, there is no perfect woman anywhere in the world. There is no perfect marriage either, but you have to set off on the right foot. Being able to tolerate your imperfections builds a perfect marriage.
Take your time to know your partner.
You have to look beneath her beautiful, see beyond her career, search beyond her class, you have to look beyond a people. You only have to be in love, that's all that matters.
Remember, Sampson's mission ended they moment he met Delilah.