I came across this insightful post about how men live in denial and are fast becoming victims which tallies exactly with my worries for them. This writer captured why men must begin to speak up about abuse, just like we facilitate with our JCB Men summits. Read below:
Our patriarchal society nudges men into hyper-masculinity. “Men are not meant to cry.” “Men should always be strong.” Most times, men experience ridicule when they show “weakness”; ergo, they are reluctant to air those issues that negatively bother them. They do not want to openly talk about how they are maltreated in romantic relationships, how they are harassed by female bosses, how they are feeling sad from the pain of a love-affair turned sour, to mention a few.
What is worse is that some men do not believe men can be rape survivors. You tell them a teacher raped her fourteen-year-old student, and the next thing you hear is, “I wish I were that guy! See enjoyment!” On a normal day, men void their pain.
Why do they remember “men also suffer” any time, every time, women start venting about how we face abuse and violence?
#RIPKarabo recently set Twitterverse ablaze. A man had murdered his twenty-two-year-old girlfriend. The killer had “necklaced her and poured acid all over her body”. Very harrowing! This coincided with Mercy Aigbe speaking up on how she suffered domestic violence at the hands of her husband. Somehow, these two events set into motion a Twitter timeline replete with threads of how women suffer several shades of abuse from men.
This brings to mind the Twitter hashtag that trended late 2016, #MenAreScum. Most of us used this hashtag to narrate how we have been harassed in different ways by men we know and the ones we do not know. Before that hashtag, most of us had been silent about these issues. Alas! Covering yourself with layers of silence will not save you. We vented. We let it all out.