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A Note To Nigerian Women on Gender, and Masculine Expectations - Eketi Edima Ette

Eketi Edima Ette

Dear Nigerian woman,
If you're in a non marital, romantic relationship and believe it's the man's duty to give you money, please don't ever say you stand for gender equality.
You're the entitled result of patriarchy.

If you find yourself saying things like, "a real man should know his duty and be giving me money before I even ask," find a solid bar of some high quality medicated soap and wash the bacterium of entitlement out of your mouth.

A real man should do nkenwa nkenwa......a real man should do ntiang ntiang, nkwung nkwung...
Real men have suffered in you people's hands!
Grown adult looking for who to take care of you. As you are, you cannot bath, feed or change your diapers by yourself, abi? 
Two functional arms and legs and you still need taking care of.

If you're in a solid and trustworthy relationship, give and take comes naturally. There's no apportionment, because love usually first expresses itself in voluntary gifts.
Emphasis on the word VOLUNTARY.
It is not the duty of anyone to take up your financial obligations as a grown adult woman, especially one who's working. 
And this mentality is what you carry on into your marriages.

A man will:
Pay rent. 
Pay school fees. 
Buy food. 
Buy the car. 
Service it regularly. 
Pay for DSTV. 
Pay for internet service. 
Send money to in-laws. 
And other gbogbotigbo.

And you'll sit back and say, "His money is our money and my money is my money."
I don't blame you, uboikpa. I blame the men. When they were shouting "helpmeet....helpmeet" upandan without know what it means, they didn't envisage this.
Iban o, I honestly don't blame you people. If many men could be in a relationship without sex, they'd rob many of you women of the power to bargain sex for money. But if I advocate for this now, they'll say I'm trying to spoil their show. Yet they'll be complaining that their women don't contribute.
Many of you women don't know what to do in a relationship where money isn't involved. 
Many of you men have no use for a relationship where sex isn't involved.

Make una continue.
Just don't come here and say you stand for gender equality if you're not willing to stand on your own two feet and take the tough part of the movement!


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