Chai, one guy on facebooke just reminded me what informed my resolve to want to marry an American or European man....(all those waiting for me to marry them, do not be disappointed yet)
When a man (who may not be a christian or religious sef) cheats on his partner over there, It is treated as a big deal because IT IS A BIG DEAL...
Summarily, most of them are faithful compared to here, not because they are afraid of being caught if they do, but because they learnt from childhood and from adults around them how to "say what you mean and mean what you say".
That is one virtue I admire about them - The way they are raised and the family role models they watched...
But here, hmmnn sexual infidelity is even validated by the women being cheated on , and the cheating-women have a field day while the cheating men even brag about it. Then we enter religious grounds and 'form holiness' and come out, then the cycle continues. The negative consequences of our actions keeps eating us up....( All for "We are African men & women nah")
Which is part of the reason we remain the 'developING continent and nation'...the way we think about everything is a challenge.
We mostly lie about everything...so why won't we lie about what we feel or do not feel...
We even lie to God...talkless of humans...
We are Disabled by our past and mindsets!
But to allow our past to cruise into and spoil our future and our children's future will be madness!
We must be that generation that is better than our fathers and our mothers, and our inlaws and our Uncles and Aunties...
Can you be the turn around generation? Yes, you!
It's up to you!
So do I blame babes who prefer to marry oyibo than our Nigerian man? No!
Do I pity people (men and women) who tolerate infidelity and its consequences? Kind of...
Do I see a light? Yes,,,,that is why I challenge stereotypes and commit with other value based individuals to help such people...because to cheat is a disability of low self esteem and not being able to take a promise, vow and life itself seriously and as sacred.
Check the men and women who cheat, they cheat on their life goals, time management, financial plan, vow to God sef, and everything too....it is a disability....and can be mended if its victims are willing.
The next generation - our children, are watching us.
PS: For ladies like me who want to marry Oyibo, because they will be faithful, I wish you luck....just marry beta one sha.
Me nko? You ask
"I am working on myself to ensure I can build the best home and family unit ever. A home that won't add to the problems of the world but be its solution"
I'm Outta here...do not follow me oooo. LOL
(C) Jenny Chisom