I was strolling on Facebook and i was jolted in my tracks at a well penned post to husbands who have refused to 'win bread' and take care of their families by Praise Fowowe. This is becoming increasingly rampant in fact I have known a particular man (husband to a wife) who for 7 years have never seen a reason to remove pride and work to earn money. So I see this letter as very instructive.
Read it below:
My Passionate appeal to the HUSBANDS OF NIGERIA
I woke up with a serious burden and trust me my sleep was short as well because i spent time thinking through all my counseling sessions during the week.
Consistently married women are showing up in our office who are tired of their marriage and want out not because the man is not a performer in the bedroom but simply because they have borne the burden of domestic bills and are tired and worn out. What is most intriguing is that most of these women have lost their self esteem and so tired of life with a number of them battling with depression no thanks to threats from the same man who has refused to lend a helping hand in providing support for the family?
How on earth do we use the Holy Book to threaten a woman who has been the one providing financial support yet we stand as deacons every Sunday teaching the word and standing to sow mega seeds from what she brings in.
If you must know some of our wives are upset and tired and to cap it all many of us feel too big to seek for paid employment yet every investment in the direction of 'I want to do business' has been squandered with nothing to show.
I am aware that times are tough for a lot of men and trust me I sympathize with us and earnestly praying to God to turn things around for our men but can we also help ourselves by doing something and crying out for help?
Can we turn down positions that requires you to make donations by simply telling those who offer you that you have no job at the moment and need help?
Can we be humane enough to at least show respect and honour for the one who has made provision possible over the years and go all out to do anything that is ethical, legal and right to earn something no matter how small.
I know many of us are frustrated and tired because of where we used to be and where we are but the downfall of a man must never be the end of his life. You can always bounce back and bounce up.
In the last 1 week i have spoken with over 13 women who are ready to move out of their marriage with their kids because
'I can't continue to work so hard and feed the entire family without nothing to show for myself'.
I have tried my best to expand their awareness but can we also show commitment to doing something differently? Can every man out there help our brothers who are tired of life and need a job or a new skill?
There is no way a human being can be comfortable feeding another able body for the rest of her life when life can be better if the two of them bring in something.
The economy we live in right now is not one that affords anyone to sit at home and do nothing? If after 8years of claiming you want to do business nothing has worked please be humble enough to dust your certificate and go and work for someone else?
As a matter of fact you can master 'SELLING SKILLS' because that is one skill that can never let you down.
Our women are tired & now many want out but I believe we can remedy the situation because once the home breaks the family breaks.
I am appealing to all our men to please seek counsel because often times a counsel is just what you need to redirect your life and bounce back.
Feeling too big to check in for counseling is arrogance when you are stuck. We must maximize professionals who are willing to help.
There is no glory in reading the Bible and praying daily for the last 5years doing nothing. By now you should have caught the revelation that sets you free.
If you are a man in this situation please kindly buzz me or buzz any of my guys like Adeolu Akinyemii Innocent Usar Sam Obafemiemi Victor Ekpo Bassey Mute Efe Chinonso Ogbogu Kingsley Obom-Egbulem Abayomi Fawehinmi and many other people out there.
And for those of us in the religious space may I appeal that we begin to do our due diligence before we appoint people into positions. Can we check if the person is gainfully employed and domestically responsible?
We must know that a family is a nation and every able bodied adult must contribute to the internally generated revenue of the family.
This also goes to wives who sit down and do nothing in the name of 'I am chopping my husband's money' kindly take yourself away from the welfare list of the family and do something to add value to the family economy.
If you have read this and have not contributed a dime financially in the last 5years please something must change as a matter of urgency.
May God turn things around and may God give us the wisdom to do things differently.
Our wives are tired and burdened and we must relieve them of this burden.
I honour us all.
NB: If you are a man and you are affected by the above kindly shoot me a mail firstname.lastname@example.org I will beg all my brothers to organize something for you that can help.