So many time due to the environment we grew up in and indeed most parts globally, men are victimised. They are so victimised and they do not even know anymore what is right to do or not.
Why do you think most men are 'failing'? We sold them from upbringing the wrong idea of leadership.
So a man grows to see probably his father or other men earn all the money, issue all the order/decrees at their wives or probably be the silent partner while the wife leads when he doesn't bring home all the money, all because of his wrong perception of his identity.
A man is a leader and the responsibility of first his life's choices which comes from his knowing his purpose is his responsibility then he is expected to lead a woman (who is powerful human) and children.
But the pictures and stereotypes plus myth peddled around him makes him think leadership means "bossy" "unteachable" "cruel" and even more. He also feels like his ability to 'control' his home is not in communicating values and shaping identities but in shutting up his partner, breaking his marriage vows most times to prove to certain lewd friends or keep away from speaking up his challenges with his partner. When he is done, he breaks down internally, searching for answers but cannot even speak up because he has been programmed that it is also weak to speak up or admit failure.
Both a man and a woman are humans. For a man to lead, he must know who he is and do not base it on any societal set standards but work for fulfillment and raise a culture and home that will benefit society. More on this!
You lead your life first, make the right choices in line with who you want to be and if you decide to get married, you become a leader at home. No woman will raise your children for you, it is a complementary role and you are majorly responsible for however your marriage and children turn out.
That's who leaders are.
They understand their responsibility.
Know who you are. A man.