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This Spade is Fe(Male) - Why We Must Quit The Gender-Blame-Game

I have said it many times and amplified it on Radio yesterday...thanks to the delectable Kimberly of Nigeria Info FM Abuja and my sweet Willy willy of Wazobia Fm Abuja who made it happen!

We cannot go anywhere with driving Women empowerment by blaming men for the woes.

The cultures, traditions, harsh religious tenets etc that we say put women down and make us less and incapacitated where institutionalised by both men and women, so these men grew up to meet them too and tried to also play by the rules.

If we must dismantle them it has to be with the agreement from dialogue of both gender

Who said the men you blame are not suffering by those cultures that incapacitated women? Don't you know it also put unrealistic expectations on them and thus their dysfunction?

Achieving women empowerment (if at all), must involve empowering the husbands and fathers and male figures in our lives. When the men 'get it', they will 'allow' women within their circle to soar and also not be intimidated by us.

Again I really believe that most of what we have is 'mind shackles', no one dis-empowered women in the first place, we have so many examples to prove and more women are rising up from this mental slavery to accept who they are - Powerful!

Biko, dear women empowerment passionistas, shebi men are also subscribing to empowering women, so why blame them?

If women allow their fellow women to be empowered sincerely, even men won't have any 'No' to say. Have you considered that?

The men we blame for being reckless, lazy, traditional or even cruel were moulded by women...and role modelled by older men who also felt that was the Male Code as validated by women. It's a round about leading no where. You see?

So let us remould men and boys by first accepting they are humans first, before male. They encounter everything, ups and downs that comes with being human.

The men we complain about and who cause you such pain, do not know any better. Who they have become, they were programmed to become and yes, most of them are willing to unlearn and relearn.

That power lies with us still - women and the men themselves!

Let us break these shackles of gender-blame-gaming and victimising males.

I am a woman! I am too 'powerful' from birth, from the maker to be incapacitated by any cultural, traditional, religious and societal myths.

You can keep watching me break all known boundaries and my man (when he sets in) will be an empowered male who won't suppose I am a lesser being anyday.

We are not same, I don't ever want to be male, but we can be fair and call a spade a spade.

(c) Jenny Chisom