Skip to main content

AWWW This Kind of Sex Needs To Stop!



Sex shouldn't be a reward for you!

My heart sank as I read this on Sandra Ibex 's Facebook Time line.

A woman wrote Sandra to say this:

""My husband's sexual feelings are tied to money. When he has money, he would want to have sex but when he is broke, he will be angry and wouldn't even sleep in the same bed with me talk more of having sex. This is our third year in marriage with no issue. I am sick and tired of this routine sex life. I have begged him to at least meet with me during my fertile period so I can conceive, he refused. Right now, I am beginning to think if he is fertile because he doesn't talk about having children and I am worried and sick. I am planning on getting pregnant outside but I need you to post this for me first let me hear other women's experience too"

My REACTION: ( I am ignoring her worry to go get 'it' outside and whether the man wants children, just focusing on the first issue)

Now, during one of our men informal hangouts in Abuja, I got a lot of education from married men as they shared certain things around control, home affairs, communication and sex.


This particular issue was thoroughly trashed by one of the men in 'the league' that i really respect. ( I am tempted to tag him but no)

Now, he explained not wanting or even feeling 'sexual' whenever he is broke and how he learnt it was killing him, his affection to his wife and his marriage at the time.

He said, he heard God speak to him that you 'can't be broke, and still deprive your dear wife of sex" - two evils at once.

Then he swallowed his pride and began this very great sexual adventure that mended his marriage and consequently got his wife to support him despite his phase of being broke and he got of out the condition faster than usual. He attributed re-engineering his sex life even when he is broke to being one of the successes he has made in his marriage so far.

I was thoroughly schooled that day as we chatted away over lunch!

It taught me and others in that gist spot a lot of lessons.

PS: Because we make men, the gender that doesn't deserve to be loved except they can 'provide', they soon accept that and then become 'impotent' whenever they cannot 'perform'.
That is dehumanising.

Dear men, like I will always tell you - what you've got or don't have, does not define the 100% man that you are.

You are human first, before male.
Humans sometimes get broke, so why not you? Because you are a man?

Come off it!

My heart goes out to this man, and even more to his wife who wrote Sandra on this very dicey issue.

I am not an authority in marriage but thought to share what this post reminded me of that I had learnt about men and sex when broke. Hope we pick the lesson, women and men.

#PositiveMasculinity #redefiningmasculinity

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Enter For The #GhenGhenChallenge by @2Mgtheatre and Win N50, 000

If you have not heard and entered for the #GhenGhenChallenge, this is for you:

There is a 18+ very interesting stage play coming to theatre in Abuja by 2MG Theatre showing at the British Council and it is "Overnight Trial" an adaptation of Aerial Dorfman's "Death and the Maiden".


So it's time to get creative with your phone camera and win N50,000 on Sept 26, 2017!

Jenny Chisom's 12 Codes of Conduct for Men That Rivals Any Male Code

It's been a tough past week so I am grateful for Sunday heralding a new week.
I have been burdened to create a Code of Conduct for members of the League of Extraordinary Men (LExM) on Facebook. So while I couldn't attend service, I sat down and wrote this down on my note pad, then typed it.
This came in a bid to begin to restructure the group to ensure it is serving the right purpose and the right men.

Why Pastor Goodheart Ekwueme Resigned From House on the Rock Church in Abuja

I have been in pains!

If you follow me on Instagram, you will notice, I put up my pastor and coach's picture last weekend because I was heart broken.
He is Pastor Goodheart Ekwueme, the outgone (as much as I hate to use that) resident pastor of my local assembly in Abuja. I and all those who knows him, are going to miss him soooooooo much, it hurts.

FEATURED ON

FEATURED ON